


Love Letters, Unsent; Love Letters, Burned

by anamuan



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Canon Compliant, Epistolary, Getting Together, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, canon-typical imperialism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:06:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21867217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anamuan/pseuds/anamuan
Summary: Lost love letters between James McGraw, Thomas Hamilton, and Miranda Hamilton, backwards through time.
Relationships: Miranda Barlow/Captain Flint | James McGraw/Thomas Hamilton
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Love Letters, Unsent; Love Letters, Burned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lionheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheart/gifts).



> Truly, 18th Century letter writers had no chill.

There is no point in writing now. I wish I had when I'd the chance. I wish— 

I wish a great many things.

Rest in peace, Thomas. God grant us the same.

~

`Dearest Thomas,`

`It has been so long since I have been able to tell you truth, and indeed, I think I never have done so on paper, where the permanence of our words might endanger us. But now that the worst has already happened, there is no reason to keep away. Alas, that our care was not enough to keep us safe, to keep _you_ safe. My dearest Thomas. What shall I do? 'Tis now that I need you most, but I need you most because you are gone.`

`It would be easier to pretend that you were simply away, not lost to me forever. I have gone on ahead, and you merely following. We await your arrival with impatience but surety. That would be easier, but it would be unfair to poor James.`

`Thomas, what shall I do about James? We are together, as you asked us, grieving together for you. We are doing our best to care for one another. The ache of the place you should be grows more unbearable over time, instead of less. I am not the same woman I was. The few months since have wearied me; they have not been kind. But Thomas, what should I do about James? He is becoming a different man. Every time he returns to me from that blue sea, he is a little more changed, a little less the man we knew. There is a hardness to him that takes longer each time to recede. We are doing our best, love, but you were the best of us. Without you, I do not know how long we may last.`

`I wish that you could read this and that you could advise me. I wish more than anything that you need not offer advice, but that you were here with us. We could make any number of new lives if only you were here. We miss you desperately. I miss you, desperately. Beyond words. I would not fail you.`

`Forever your loving wife,`

`Miranda`

~

Thomas,  
She stays up late nights. I worry. She does not sleep, but writes letter after letter, missive after missive, trying to find anyone who will still speak to her, anyone who might help you. They all go unanswered. I am not a devout man, you know, but I do believe. I pray for your health and safety; it feels hopeless. Can God hear me now, after all of this? I've ruined you utterly, regardless of intent. At times it seems a just punishment for me to be deprived of your sweet face, but there is no justice in what you must be enduring even now. How, then, can God countenance such a thing! We swing wildly between certainty that all is lost and a sharp, dangerous hope that there may yet be something we might do. Be strong for us; we need you.  
Yours in hope,

~

Thomas,

I will see you freed if it's the death of me. I will stake my life upon it, for I cannot stand to watch Miranda dash herself to pieces in the attempt. I will do whatever you ask of me, as always, but this request, your latest—I pray not the last, just the latest; indeed, I cannot even bear to think it should be anything but—I swear upon all that is sacred, I will do. I will care for Miranda; I will let her care for me. We will the two of us flee together, each supporting the other, until your dear self can be ransomed to our arms.

I swear it.

J.

~

I wish I could have spent the night; it's been so long since we were last together. I wish we had the time to take a moment for ourselves.

But such a selfish thought doesn't deserve space in my mind as I plan what I must say to Lord Hennessy tomorrow. He will see reason, when presented to him as such. He is a good man; do not worry.

There will be other nights, soon. Tonight, perhaps, when my errand is not so urgent, when I bring you news from the Admiral's office. There will be other nights to lie together, flush with triumph and energized to do the work we are about to commence.

J.M.

~

`Thomas, James. Loves. Tonight I pray, and I pray, and I pray. I see the danger ahead, but I am Cassandra, prophecy uttered but unheard. I pray: let me be wrong about this. Dear Lord, let me be wrong. Let you both be right; let the goodness of the idea overcome the pettiness of London. Let Alfred's foot slip in his tread. Lord, I pray.`

~

Just a moment, your hand clasped round my wrist. The heat of it seemed ready to burn me up like a tallow candle. Just a moment, your eyes burned into mine and I left unvoiced all the things I should like to say to you, to focus on the problem before us.

I trust you; you know it; but I need to tell you again. You saw a way through when all courses were hidden from me, when the last of our attempts seemed doomed to fail. I thank God for the day we met. You are more than my wildest dream. You are what I dared not to dream for. You are the best of us, James.

Silly, to write a missive to you at such a time, but I cannot sleep. Speed back to us tomorrow, tell us what marvels you've accomplished, and let me rest my hand upon your wrist and feel your pulse racing. Every moment spent apart from you these three months has been an eternity; I need eternities more basking in your sun to be renewed.

~

Land at last sighted: beautiful England's shores. I have been thinking on the circumstance that has befallen Nassau, and I believe there is yet a way forward for us. Have hope, my loves, all is not yet lost. -J.

~

`It’s all-right, love; I miss him too. `

~

Would that I could soar like the gull upon the wind, if it should bring me home even a moment more quickly to you. Our separation has been unbearable, but bear it I must. How are you, my loves? Fare you well? Would that I had news of you, at least, to reassure myself in this period apart. Would that I had memento as well as memory. Would that the wind could be made to blow and that the sail could be made to catch wind so that I could already be greeting you in your parlour, hands clasped together in friendship and more than friendship. Pray you take gentle care of each other, seek solace each you in the other's arms, and guide my safe return. I know I need not bid you do the things already in your hearts, but it gives me ease of mind to know that you do and that we three soon shall once more be reunited. -J.

~

T.H.  
The quartermaster has started questioning why I should need such a quantity of paper, so I must keep these brief. I miss you more than words. They seem weak and empty, wanting for their task. No matter, I am nearly home to you.  
Yours always,  
J.M.

~

Our moments together flash before me, too quickly to count, much less relive, and I feel broken to be so far from you. Only the knowledge that each breath of wind brings you closer sustains me. Without you, I am nothing; this journey has shown me that starkly.

I know that your duty shall only take you away from me, that we shall lose months and years to the Lady Sea and her Lords. I did not know it would be so difficult to bear.

Perhaps as time passes, we will grow accustomed to it. Perhaps, in years' time, we shall think only of the times we were together, and the time spent apart will fade to nothing. Perhaps.

Until then, know I long for you utterly and that my entire being awaits your return.

T.

~

T. & M.

News have I for you, and foulest news. Would that it were glad tidings instead, so that this torturous time apart might have borne worthwhile fruit. I detest that this errand has come to nought, but I live as ever, in the bright expectation of our reunion. Please don't be disappointed. 

J.M.

~

`Don't tell Thomas; it's terrible waking up without you. He's having a hard enough time already without me adding to his burdens. M.`

~

Thomas, beloved,

I dream of you at night. The sound of your voice. Your breath against my ear. The touch of your lips at my throat, the touch of your hand in mine. The rocking of the boat becomes the rocking of you beneath me and I awake, needing.

Darling, dearest—the sea has never seemed a burden before, a load to be borne instead of a soaring freedom. I have never before had a reason to come home. From you, who are my home, to fly? Even at your behest, such a task seems unnatural, going against the very fibre of soul and mind. My entire being longs to be close to you once more—yet I may only console myself with dreams! Dreams which better serve to throw my longing for you into sharpest relief than provide solace from the aching that is your absence.

Commend me to Miranda, our beloved. Hold her closely—I know I need not entreat you to love her dearly, but now, while I am unable, love her twice as dearly as ever, in my stead as well as yours. 

Yours ever,  
J.M.

~

My body and my soul ache with our separation, counting down the days and the hours—the very minutes—until we three can be united again; the long days and nights since last we met plague me and afflict my being. My duty suffers, and naught but the thought that I should like to continue to earn your admiration and respect keeps me at all attentive to that which until you had been my whole life and calling. Now, to a higher calling I cling: to hear your sweet voices again, to hold your sweet frames against mine and feel the beating of your hearts in your chests.

Pray you we meet again more swiftly than even the angels could arrange, as swiftly as you are dear to me, and I to you.

~

`Dearest James,`

`I hope this letter finds you well; I hope, indeed, that you receive it. Nassau seems so far; it seems almost futile to send anything as fragile as paper across miles of waves. Yet Nassau too is part of our dear country, no matter how removed, and given the great hope of your mission, I cannot permit myself to have any less hope that this should reach you, and that our cause shall also have reason to hope, that that jewel of the sea may be reunited with her Queen and country in truth instead of just in shallow name. `

`T. is well, as am I. He works tirelessly; indeed, with you away to help persuade him, I can barely convince him to come to sleep a night in bed. He spends his time writing letters to those who might be persuaded to join us and says he sorely misses your company in that work, for your arguments against him have always made his missives more convincing. We both wait eagerly for your return and the news you might bring us about whether or not this grand project should have any chance; yet more eager are we to see your beloved face again, and to hear your beloved voice. `

`I yearn for the sound of your sweet voice. I remember the last time you read aloud to us in the parlour: it seemed as though the Ocean herself rode wrapped up in your voice, the swell and ebb of your cadence as you read were the swell and ebb of Her tides, the crashing of Her bosom against the rocky shore. Thomas tells me I am being far too fanciful—T., of all people, who claims to have heard any number of spiritual things slide from your lips—yet this one fancy I must cling to, for I swear it seems that you must carry the Ocean with you wherever you go, and even when you are far from Her bounds your lips must still taste of Her salt. 'Tis absurd, I know, but I cannot shake the sense of it. `

`Come home to us, safely. We are waiting. `

`Your dear friend, `

`M`

~

"Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows." Yet how could such occur when already our fondness knows no bounds? Yet again I find it is so: to be parted from you leaves me only with thoughts of how long and how soon again we can meet. And so sighing, sleep; and so sighing, eat; and so sighing pass the long and empty days until again I see your faces. 

~

'Tis a hollow life.

It's too much, unbearable, to live sustained on longing. On the memory of and the expectation of the warmth of your embrace, rather than the strength of your arms around me, and mine around you.

I know I sent you from me. I know that it is with greatest purpose that you go. Yet I cannot but curse this plan we ourselves contrived for it means that we two should be separated this many months, and how many more. How long to cross the sea? How far the New World and her bounty!

I would that you were here with me now. I long to caress your sweet face as the memory of my name upon your tongue caresses me. A day apart from you is an eternity. How many more eternities of torment lie between now and the day of your return? How can a man bear up under such torments? I lean upon Miranda's strength, but no consolation of her that is here can match the comfort of reunion.

James, Dearest. Hurry to your task and hurry back again to my arms. I feel selfish and do not want to share all things, as I ought, with my partner in life, but surely Miranda will excuse a little selfishness for our sakes.

I await your return more eagerly than words can tell. 

~

`I shouldn't tell you this, but Thomas has been pining for you terribly. I'm almost jealous, except I miss you as much myself. Hurry home, love; we're waiting.`

~

My Truest Love,

Your life runs through my veins now, I cannot be apart from you any more than I could be parted from my blood, my organs, my soul. It would kill me more surely than sword or shot. Even these few months of separation for the sake of our shared cause are unendurable, unbearable. I sigh, I ache, I cannot eat. Sleep is a restless thing that only brings occasional relief when it brings dreams of you. 'Tis incredible to think that at this late age I have finally discovered love, life, happiness, when I had thought I'd known their fullest reaches already. To find I had known nothing at all, as ignorant as a babe in arms. James, you are more than I could ever have imagined; worlds could not contain you.

Health, then, I pray you, and a speedy return. Do not make me wait a moment more than wind and waves enforce.

T.H.

~

More than anything, I know, with you, that everything is possible. No Icarus you, but Bright Apollo. You, Thomas, can rise above man's vain strictures and establish for us a better society, a better empire, closer to God's grace. To think that I, baptised a babe, should at last find real faith!

By this faith; and through our hopes for our common cause; and in your love I go: to Nassau. But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love—and from your love grows my strength and my surety in this mission. Bide a short while for me and my return, love; by God's grace, this poor blasphemer shall return to you whole and well and with glad tidings. 

-J.M. 

~

I cannot believe that a love such as ours could truly be a sin in God's sight, for being love, when God is Love. As two are made one in God's holy sight, so we two, as one, take you in matrimony, forsaking all others to plight thee our troth. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance—yea, for truly I cannot believe that this love of ours could be apart from God's law instead of a part of it. Nothing so earnest nor real could be anything less than God's love in flesh, as any other marriage before God could be. 

So feel no shame, James, beloved, nor fear it either. 

~

`Be careful with him, James. You and I are people of the world who know the dangers of the world, its tiny thorns and mundane miseries.`

`He is not. `

`Be careful with him. Guard his heart. I've never known him so happy. Be gentle with him, and loving. Treasure him, and keep him safe.  
-M.`

~

What a helpless love is this! Longing to touch, wondering; longing to speak once more, to know your mind, sparkling. There is no thing you say that is not weighed, measured. There is no riposte, no repartee that is not calculated. There is no exposed guard that you do not mean to allow. Yet you let me see you, in scattered pieces; your form is beautiful, yes, the work of the Master. But your soul, your mind, is more beautiful still, the sort of masterpiece that sends a man to marvel at what wonderful things the Lord hath wrought, more miracles than mortal mind can hope to hold. 

~

`Lacomus`  
Vivamus, mea ~~Lesbia~~ , atque amemus,  
Rumoresque senum severiorum  
omnes unius aestimemus aosis!  
Soles occidere et redire possunt;  
nobis, cum semel occidit brevis lux,  
nox est perpetua una dormienda

da mi basia mille, deinde centum,  
dien mille altera, dien secunda centum,  
diende usque altera mille, diende centum  
dien, cum milia multa fecerimus  
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus  
aut ne quis malus invidere possit  
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

~

`There were whispers upon our entrance at the London house of Lord and Lady N——, which means that the rumours about us, you and I, have not abated as I had so dearly hoped. There were no other indications that anyone had anything other than mean-spirited talk however, so with perhaps just a little more care this will be laid to rest with all the other words whispered about my name and conduct.`

`I shall endeavour to be out calling when you come to the house today, and sequester yourself with Thomas as much as you like, but pray you mind the hour and not stay the night this week. If you do not, I shall be forced to retire to the country seat, and the estate is never more boring than now. Please, for my sake, mind the hour. `

`This is a fragile thing growing in our care, and it needs nurture by protection from wind and hail as much as it needs water and light. A week is a small span of time to wait to afford us some protection, and afterwards we might resume as we will, all the safer. `

`Do not worry about me; this is all idle speculation and my reputation can suffer some ill wind without worry of it collapsing. It doesn't hurt at all that you have such a sterling one yourself. Remind me to tell you when I do see you what Lady G—— said upon the suggestion that you might be caught up in my snare. How little she knows about traps and trails! Or perhaps you've done something else to charm her?`

~

My Sweetest M, T

This thing between us, a creature of secret places, but not of dark; of gentle, inner solars and furtive, tender kisses, not stolen but given with sweetest breaths between. A promised land of milk and honey, of sweet water and summer flowers blooming in cold Britain, the sparkling jewel of islands set against the sea. I kiss you, and reach my hand for his; I kiss him and reach my hand for yours. It is an unbroken ring of light, unimaginable, to be protected at all costs. I shall protect it, and you both, with all my heart. 

Ever yours, 

J. 

~

My truest love,

I love you, truly. Do not discount my affections or name them false. When you doubt, think of that morning in your quarters, the sun not yet up as I read to you. I think of that time often, daily, hourly: whenever I miss the sight of your face. 

With most fervent regard,  
T.H.

~

`What wicked words you've left beneath my pillow! I showed them to Thomas, of course, who could barely keep from calling you back straight away, work be damned. I apologize, my dear, for any aspersions I may have once cast upon your propriety. You've more than outstripped my highest expectations. `

`I think perhaps, you should arrange to stay late in Thomas's study as much as possible this week, and we shall see what we can do to outstrip your expectations as well.`

~

Take me between thy legs and unspin me with thy hands. Suspended between you, each on one side, is freedom unlike anything else on the face of the Earth or beneath the dome of the Sky.

I am gripped, groaning, the motion of you beneath me crests and takes me as surely as that of the ocean. And you, behind me, within me, urging me ever onwards, towards completion. Inexorable, implacable, resistance futilely dashed upon the shores. 

I am mastered under your hands upon me. My brow, my back, my cock all quiver for your touch, a restless anticipation, an appetite whet only with you, only by you, and satisfied just the same. 

~

Someone will remember us,  
I say,  
even in another time,  
writes Sappho, but I don't need anyone to remember us. I only want to lie next to you while the morning washes pale over your shoulders. You are a work of art, transcendent, in body, in spirit, in mind. I am blessed by God that you should consider me intimate friend, that you should call me lover. I should like to speak of love, yet find myself unable, for every word uttered in your presence is filled up to overflowing with love already. Every word, every phrase, every glance—none can contain what I feel for you, and I am at a loss. Be still and gentle with me a while longer; let me continue to know this peace. This I pray. 

~

James, come at once. I have great need of you.

~

Thomas, you are a marvel of a man, the like of which I have never known—nay, the Earth herself suspended so beneath Heaven has never known such as you before, nor will again. I think you know already, that I should walk through fire for you given only the opportunity; and for another kiss from you, through Hell itself without faltering. 

~

The sight of your smile haunts me, the way your face creases, the crinkle at your eyes, and the turn at the corner of your mouth—I think of your merry countenance and it makes my heart swell almost to bursting. How much more so to see it real before me! 

There are times that I cannot speak, faced with you, lest my mouth let loose all my secret longings, desires that you've shown no inclination of sharing. Except every touch, every glance, the stance of your frame, the set of your brow whispers that I allow fear to lie to me, that it might be permitted if only I had the courage to act. Would you permit me these impertinences—to know you intimately, mind, soul, and body? Not just a dear friend—not only— 

Just the thought sets me to trembling, wracked by a giddy longing I have not often known. What can I do to ease this yearning? All time spent with you serves only to feed it more; yet time apart leaves me destitute for want of you. How shall I survive this torment? Your smile my affliction, yet your smile my only solace! Curse and salvation both, and I a giddy youth led about by passions! James, I beg you, all unknowing: come and touch me, cool my fevered mind, burning with longing, grant me relief. 

~

Miranda, named with more truth than any could know, my admiration knows no bounds, the wonder of your affections new every morning. The morning light touches your lips with loving fingers. I long to touch as well, but dare not. Angels are too far above men to touch. Bide I through day to night, when at last I came to you as I longed. 

You rise above me and cast out the net of your hair, reflected candlelight shimmering in their dark locks like the spanning stars of the Milky Way, an endless skein of brilliance. The porcelain of your skin catches the red light of the flame, turning ruddy—a thing that can be touched at last with mortal hands—and you gasp my name as you drag my hand up to cup your breast. My name on your lips is a sweet, sharp ache. It creates a hollow place in me that cannot be filled until I can hear it again, a fine and endless yearning. Carpe diem quam nimium credula postero, but trust I must, at least, in a chance to hear it again, like this. 

~

Miranda took me to her bed this evening, and though we long ago swore to hold no jealousies between us, I found I needed to repent my envy of her right to touch you. To take you to bed if she desires, to see the strength of your shoulders bared, the perfection of your naked form. How must it be, to have you in such a way, to be allowed such as that?

She told me what you are like, which eased the envy but stoked the longing; and in that way we whiled away the night.

~

`I only dare write this letter because Thomas has promised that he will deliver it directly to your hand and to no other. I trust you will burn it after reading, if not for your own sake, then for mine.`

`I know you feel guilty about this association we have struck up, dear one, but Thomas himself brings our correspondence between us—surely that, as nothing else—should convince you that it is entirely condoned. There are no secrets between Thomas and myself; so, do not worry about overstepping bounds or the limits of propriety or whatever it is that has you troubled of late. You, too, are very dear to me, as I know I am to you. Do not let the world intrude upon the small sanctuary we have built. We shall take care in public, and move forward together as we will within the walls of our homes where none should hold us up in approbation. `

`Hurry back to visit; Thomas says I act as though the sun has left the world whenever you leave the premises, and will not stop teasing me for being so very obviously enamoured. Surely a man with as much honour as you will not let me suffer so on your account!`

~

"Your lips are conquerors, my lips obey," wrote another whose skill with a pen far surpasses my own, but my caged heart feels the truth in those words. Obedient, I come to you; supplicant, kneel. "A thousand kisses buys my heart from me." You have it yet, held in trust. I know not yet shouldst I buy it back. It is something I long to entrust to you, but I cannot with good conscience accept all the terms that needs must come with such a sale.

Yet I cannot make myself to stay away, O Venus, from your bower, from your touches, from your lips. I am not, nor have ever been, a knight. I am but a lowly sailor, but Venus was born from the sea, and her commands through you I only can follow. Command me then, Miranda, and good or ill, I shall do your will.

~

`Just a kiss in the carriage and the promise of more. He wouldn't come to see the collection with me, or come into the house to-day. Perhaps tomorrow, when you are here. Don't monopolize him the whole time. I ache for him as much as you.`

~

Thomas, I would call you friend. So is this not, after all, a betrayal? Your own wife—how should I show my face at your home again? How should I look upon your smiling face with this weight in my heart, this blackest sin like a stone round my neck? 

I am a weak man, Thomas, unworthy of your friendship. I dare never ask forgiveness for such a thing, for nothing could merit forgiveness less than what I have done. Yet I know I shall do it again, and in that moment of joining regret nothing. 

Would that you had never met such a blackguard as I, and never called me friend! Would that I were more worthy. I had vowed to be a better man for you, the man you seemed to see in me; instead, alas, I've sunk even lower than I imagined possible and dragged sweet Miranda with me. 

~

M.,  
Tell me how it goes.  
-T.

~

`You've a wicked smile when you aren't paying mind to the expression on your face. It's hard to catch, as you've got a very strict eye towards propriety, but Thomas has reported sightings upon rare occasion, and I've found myself searching for it myself since. `

`'Tis a very wicked smile; I should quite like to taste it. I wonder if you would permit such a breach of decorum. I'd dearly like to find out, and I am not alone in this. It has been the subject of much discussion in my marriage bed of late. `

`I wonder if that knowledge should excite or alarm you—I have my suspicions, of course, but I'll keep those to myself for the time being. A lady must have her secrets, after all. As I suspect, must you. What shall it take to learn yours? What shall it take to become one?`

~

Thomas,

I must confess I did not think much of you when we were first introduced, and I given this appointment. You seemed hopelessly naive, a preening lordling wasting time better spent in honest industry. 

When I think back upon this now, upon the thoughts of only a few weeks previous, I am ashamed. Now that I've come to know you, I can only say with utmost sincerity, that it is my greatest honour to call you friend and to join you in this work we've commenced. You possess an uncommon intelligence, of course; I'm sure all your Eton tutors have commended you for this. But more than that, more commendable than and far less common than intellect or ingenuity, are your principles. It is a rare man who truly stands by his beliefs, and yet more precious a man who sees all that men are and can yet imagine what men can be. 

You see the ways that man can rise above his base nature and become a more perfect creature, and you believe—as so few do—that God has given us a duty to try. You make me want to be a better man; I hardly think there many men who, upon your acquaintance, do not feel similarly. Your generosity and nobility of spirit make converts of us.

I hope that even when our work together has completed, you may yet look upon me with affection, and that our companionship may continue for many years to come. 

Yours in friendship, 

Lieutenant James McGraw

~

`Dearest Thomas,`

`I wish you were back already. It's lonely without you. I know you hate hearing that, but James is set upon propriety, and I do, truly, have few friends. I miss you. You, alone, are enough for me, which is why being parted is so painful. `

`Your mother hates me. I knew that there would be some risk in our agreed upon arrangement, that at some point whispers would arise about my behaviour, sanctioned or no, and that if we were careful enough, there would never be proof, but there might be scandal. I accepted the risk of that as more than worth the gain of you, and us, and our happy marriage. Your father never liked me. He always thought I was too clever by half, and therefore bound to cause trouble. But your mother, she hates me; that smarts. She was fond of me once. `

`Now she's grateful we've never produced children. She thinks she can use the inheritance to pressure you into putting me aside and marrying someone 'more suitable.' `

`I'll come with you at Christmas. A month is too long to be parted from you. A little coldness is of course expected in the winter months, and can be endured easily with sufficient preparation. `

`Miranda`

~

Miranda, 

I confess to you here what I dare not confess aloud lest you laugh at me for being so taken so quickly, but the lieutenant is more comely than I'd anticipated. Handsome, yes; more dangerously, he's wry and quick-witted and more well-spoken than any man has a right to be, and all without any sort of formal education. He would hold up to you in a room, I think, if he could be enticed to. 

I think you'd like him.

I think it might even be more than that: I think it would be like those early days, late in our courtship but before our wedding, when we'd sit in an alcove and pick out the loveliest men in the room together and discuss those intimate acts we'd most enjoy in their company, whilst everyone around us thought we were planning the summer event. 

He has the bluest eyes; the uniform brings them out, no doubt. And the corner of his mouth turns down when he's taken aback, but up when you've said something stupid and he's trying to think of a kind way to tell you. 

We spoke but briefly, but I am shaken in ways I perhaps have never been before. Don't laugh, Miranda. You must meet him! You'll understand then. He is something all those lovely lads were not, as well, clever though some were; he has a spark, a pull, like yours. I had worried, as you know, when I'd heard his reputation, that he would be too ambitious to help our cause, but upon meeting him I can assert: he is ambitious, yes, but more than just ambitious. I dare say he's brilliant. If he can be converted to our cause, we may have a very good chance. 

And if he cannot be, 'twill not be unpleasant to pass the time until the Admiralty can produce a more suitable candidate. 

Thomas

**Author's Note:**

> References:  
> 1\. "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows," is a translation of a line from Roman poet Sextus Propertius's Elegies.  
> 2\. "But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love" directly quotes 1 Corinthians 13:13, the King James' Version.  
> 3\. The poem starting "Vivamus, mea Lesbia atque amemus" is Catullus 5, the love poem that goes on about 100 kisses and a thousand kisses and another 100 kisses abs another 1000 kisses etc.. Lacomus is the Latin for James.  
> 4\. "Come and touch me, cool my fevered mind, burning with longing, grant me relief. " is a roundabout reference to Sappho: "you came and I was crazy for you | and you cooled my mind that burned with longing".  
> 5\. "Miranda, named with more truth than any could know, my admiration knows no bounds, the wonder of your affections new every morning." - Miranda derived from the Latin mirandus, meaning "admirable, wonderful".  
> 6\. "Carpe diem quam nimium credula postero" is "seize the day, put little trust in tomorrow"  
> by Horace.  
> 7\. "Your lips are conquerors, my lips obey," and "A thousand kisses buys my heart from me," are both references to lines from Venus and Adonis, by Shakespeare.


End file.
